Zack & Micchi, after niisan wakes up

[callmemicchi]

Micchi feels a familiar sense of entitlement rising up inside him as doctors and nurses swarm around him and into niisan's room, marvelling at his medical miracle and pushing Micchi out because visiting times are over. They're trying to keep him from his niisan.

Getting angry and taking revenge on everyone isn't the way to go though, he's learnt that if nothing else. When niisan softly says his name Micchi goes to his side, takes hold of his hand as Takatora promises everything will be fine and that he should go home and get some rest too, to be able to come back first thing in the morning. Because niisan wants him there.

Niisan still loves him.

That's the only thing that could've made Micchi leave willingly. But once he's outside the hospital building he isn't sure what to do with himself. This is a momentous occasion! Somebody needs to know about it!

...But nobody even knew niisan was in the hospital. Micchi hadn't told anyone. There aren't many people left who would care. Oren-san would, because of that kind of amusing obsession he has with Takatora, but that's not what niisan needs right now.

...Zack would care. Because it's important to Micchi. He's been gently letting Micchi know if he wants anything, needs anything, if he wants to come back to the Beat Riders - it's all possible. Micchi stares down at his phone for a moment before dialing Zack's number for the first time.

Comments

[callmemicchi]

Micchi doesn't comment on Zack's discarding of the crutch; no point dwelling on why he did it. The hugging thing had been unexpected but nice, and Micchi doesn't want to criticise it or anything related to it. If he did it might never happen again, and though he isn't actively chasing more hugs, it's a comfort to know they're a possibility. "Can you sit alright?" Micchi asks absently as he turns to check where the ledge is behind him again. "I'm sorry for dragging you out like this." It seems polite to say, and he's been raised to be polite.

[brawler_baron]

Zack just grins when Micchi asks him if he's able to sit. "Don't worry about that, I've become something of a champ at sitting lately." He eases himself down onto the ledge, carefully positioning himself close to Micchi but not so close as to crowd him.

"I'm sorry for dragging you out like this," Micchi says.

Zack shakes his head. "You're not dragging me out," he says gently. He lays his hand atop Micchi's between them, lightly enough that Micchi will have no trouble pulling away if he wants to. "You don't have to apologize. I'm really glad you called me, Micchi. It's so good to see you." He knows that even though he's said it in absolute sincerity, Micchi might not be able to believe it. "So, your brother... can you tell me what happened?"

[callmemicchi]

Zack touches his again; his hand on top of Micchi's Micchi doesn't jump, doesn't startle when they've already had full on bodily contact in the form of a hug, but he does creep his hand gently out from beneath. It feels too odd to accept the comforting gesture. Micchi pulls his hands back into his lap again. His habits have changed dramatically over the weeks of sitting small and quiet at a hospital bedside. Your brother. Zack's voice breaks through his thoughts. "Can you tell me what happened?" "He's awake," Micchi says again. It feels like the only thing worth saying. But there's more. "He smiled at me. He doesn't remember anything. He can't or he would have been scared of me, or angry. Anything but happy."

[brawler_baron]

It's not really a surprise when Micchi slips his hand out from beneath Zack's. Zack can't expect him to be open to affection immediately after all the time he's spent withdrawn and alone. He leaves his hand on the ledge just in case Micchi changes his mind, though.

"He's awake," Micchi says in response to Zack's question. "He smiled at me." Micchi doesn't sound happy about that, though. "He doesn't remember anything. He can't or he would have been scared of me, or angry. Anything but happy."

Zack takes a moment to process Micchi's words. He doesn't want to argue with Micchi when he wasn't there to see what happened, but. "Do you know that for certain?" he asks gently. "Did you ask him if he remembers what happened?" He hesitates a moment. "I mean, I know how easy it is to assume the worst,, but I don't think you can jump to that conclusion without knowing what's going on in his mind, too."

[callmemicchi]

Micchi understands where Zack is coming from when he asks what he does. He doesn't know the full extent of what happened. Micchi can't be angry with him for his assuming the best, he only sighs. "They didn't give me a chance to talk to him properly," Micchi admits. "The doctors. Niisan waking up is a miracle. They wanted to give him all kinds of scans and tests. They wouldn't let me stay for that. "What could have made him happy to see me other than having forgotten everything I've done?"

[brawler_baron]

As Zack suspected, Micchi doesn't know for sure that Takatora has lost his memories, but he seems convinced all the same that it's the only possibility. "What could have made him happy to see me other than having forgotten everything I've done?"

Zack takes a slow breath in and considers his words before he answers. "I know it's not the same thing at all," he prefaces himself, "but you must've thought there was no way I'd ever be happy to see you, either." He looks over at Micchi, who's staring down at his hands in his lap, a blank expression on his face. "But I am. Even with everything that happened, I'm glad that you're still alive and here, Micchi."

Zack is probably talking too much, but he can't stop himself. "And we don't know if your niisan remembers what happened or not, but either way, I bet he's happy you made it through, and that you were there at his side when he woke up. You being there showed him you still care about him." Zack leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. "He did things that hurt you badly, too," he adds. "But you were still happy to see him when he woke up, right? I'll bet he's just as surprised that you could possibly feel that way about him."

[callmemicchi]

Micchi closes his eyes. Zack can say he's happy to see Micchi, fine. But he wasn't there to see everything Micchi did. And who was left to pass on the gossip? Nobody really.

You're just glad anyone survived, he thinks, biting his tongue so that he doesn't say it. Where once he would spit poison now it's easier to simply stay numb and say nothing. You lost enough friends that now you'll even put up with me just to have more remnants of the Beat Riders around.

"The things he did to me don't matter anymore," Micchi suffices to say instead. Latching onto that is easier than anything else Zack has said. "They mattered back then, before. When that was my entire life. They don't matter now." Micchi lets a small amount of breath out of his nose. "I'd probably be better off with niisan still making all the decisions for me. If anything has been proven by this whole situation, it's that."

[brawler_baron]

Zack's heart aches when he hears Micchi saying that the ways in which his brother hurt him don't matter anymore. As if the things he's done have been so awful that he deserves anything he gets now. Zack knows that feeling all too well.

Maybe it's time for him to let Micchi know that.

"Micchi..." Zack clenches his hands together to keep them from shaking. "I need you to know something. I'm not trying to make this about me, I just. I have to tell you." He braces himself to say out loud the horrible thing he'd done, the thing he hasn't had to say to any of the other Beat Riders because they all knew already. "After Kaito became an Overlord, I." Zack swallows hard around the lump that's forming in his throat. "I tried to kill him. My best friend, the guy who trusted me most in the world, and I tried to kill him." He shakes his head sadly. "I ended up killing Minato-san instead. I never meant to, but her blood's on my hands all the same." Zack's voice is quavering now, but he knows Micchi needs to hear the rest. "And after that, Kaito fought me, but... he let me live. Even though I betrayed him, even though I killed Minato-san, Kaito let me live. And I'm never gonna know why he didn't just kill me."

Zack looks over at Micchi with a heavy heart. "You're not alone, Micchi," he says softly. "You're not the only one who's carrying this pain. That's what I've wanted to tell you all this time. I don't have an answer for it, and maybe there isn't one. But I know how much it hurts. You're not alone."

[callmemicchi]

Micchi hadn't really stopped to think about what else had been happening when he'd divorced himself from the Beat Riders in order to control them. Team Baron, any of them. Kaito had tried to get in his way, called him a coward. He'd been right. He'd always been able to see right through Micchi's sweet and smiling act to his core. As much as they'd disliked one another maybe he can see the value now in having a friend who calls you out on your shit rather than accepts it all. Zack had that, but then he'd had to deal with Kaito becoming an Overlord... He would've just let Helheim take over and see who was strong enough to survive. He hadn't even had a group of people he wanted to save specifically, like Micchi had. Maybe Kaito didn't kill Zack because he'd proven himself just by challenging Kaito. Micchi doesn't think saying it will reassure Zack, though. Not when Minato-san is dead. Micchi hesitantly lifts his hand, slipping it over to Zack's where his are clutched together, and places it on top gently, squeezing just a little.

[brawler_baron]

Zack is so afraid, in those first silent moments after he finishes talking, that even this won't be enough to break through the wall Micchi has built around himself. But then Micchi lifts his hand to reach over and lay it on top of Zack's, and there's a soft warmth where their skin is touching. Zack isn't alone either.

Zack raises one thumb to brush it lightly against Micchi's hand, to return the gesture as best he can right now. "I know you must be so scared right now," he says. "About what's gonna happen the next time you see your brother. And I sure can't make any promises about how it'll turn out, but... I want to go with you. I'll give you guys privacy if you'd rather talk without me there, but I want to go to the hospital with you, so whatever happens, you'll know you're still not alone. Will you let me do that for you, Micchi?"

[callmemicchi]

"Mmmm," Micchi agrees quietly when Zack mentions knowing he's scared, and that he can't promise it'll turn out well. Micchi knows that; he won't blame Zack if everything falls to pieces. But he's saying... That if it does, he'll be by Micchi's side. Micchi flicks his eyes up to look Zack in the face. "Why?" He asks. "You want to help me... So I won't feel as bad as you've been feeling?" It's too late for that, but of course Zack means from now on. "Who has been there to help you?" Micchi is already trying to figure it out before he asks; he's pretty sure Zack is the one looking after all the remaining Beat Riders, not the other way around.