Zack & Micchi, after niisan wakes up

[callmemicchi]

Micchi feels a familiar sense of entitlement rising up inside him as doctors and nurses swarm around him and into niisan's room, marvelling at his medical miracle and pushing Micchi out because visiting times are over. They're trying to keep him from his niisan.

Getting angry and taking revenge on everyone isn't the way to go though, he's learnt that if nothing else. When niisan softly says his name Micchi goes to his side, takes hold of his hand as Takatora promises everything will be fine and that he should go home and get some rest too, to be able to come back first thing in the morning. Because niisan wants him there.

Niisan still loves him.

That's the only thing that could've made Micchi leave willingly. But once he's outside the hospital building he isn't sure what to do with himself. This is a momentous occasion! Somebody needs to know about it!

...But nobody even knew niisan was in the hospital. Micchi hadn't told anyone. There aren't many people left who would care. Oren-san would, because of that kind of amusing obsession he has with Takatora, but that's not what niisan needs right now.

...Zack would care. Because it's important to Micchi. He's been gently letting Micchi know if he wants anything, needs anything, if he wants to come back to the Beat Riders - it's all possible. Micchi stares down at his phone for a moment before dialing Zack's number for the first time.

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[brawler_baron]

Zack is stretched out on the couch in his apartment, a pillow resting beneath his still-healing knee. He'd left the Beat Riders gathering early, telling Peco he needed to rest his leg, but now that he's been home a while he's had a little too much time alone with his own thoughts. As has happened more than he'd like since he woke up in the hospital after everything was over.

He hears his phone vibrate on the table beside him. Maybe it's Peco, calling to keep him informed of where the group is headed next? Zack grabs the phone to check the caller ID, and his heart nearly stops.

It's Micchi.

Micchi who's been lurking around the edges of Beat Riders performances, never daring to come close, all the light gone from his eyes. Micchi who's little more than a ghost of the bright, energetic boy who'd captivated Zack's attention what seems like so long ago now.

Zack has told him every chance he's had to call if he ever needs or wants anything at all, but this is the first time it's ever actually happened. He has to be careful not to let this chance go to waste, not to scare Micchi off. "Micchi, hi," he says, heart racing. "I'm here, what's up?"

[callmemicchi]

When Zack actually answers the call and Micchi hears his voice suddenly he doesn't know what to say. The dynamic between them now is nothing like it used to be; now Zack does all the talking and Micchi just shuts it out until he can't anymore and has to walk away.

He wants to be around the people he loves, but he doesn't deserve to be. He doesn't deserve niisan back, or to have been smiled at by niisan like that, like niisan felt at home to see Micchi. He doesn't deserve Zack's persistence, or caring.

Zack isn't desperate, though. He's never been like that. He's confident. If he'd been pushy and demanding Micchi would've run further away. As it is, he eventually finds his voice enough to say, "something... good happened?"

And his voice does sound just as mystified as he feels. Something good, happening to him? That doesn't seem right either.

[brawler_baron]

At first Micchi doesn't say anything. Zack's used to that now, though, after all the attempts he's made to speak to him in person that have never gotten more than a few syllables in return. He knows better than to push. Micchi called for a reason; if Zack waits, he'll find his words.

"Something... good happened?" Micchi says at last, and Zack instantly understands the questioning tone in his voice; sometimes Zack still can't believe it when good things happen to him, either.

"Yeah?" Zack replies in a soft, encouraging tone. "That's good to hear, Micchi. You wanna talk about it?" He pauses a moment and then adds, "I can come meet you if it's something you'd rather talk about in person."

[callmemicchi]

Zack doesn't just care that good things might happen to Micchi; the warmth in his voice promises that he really wants them to, as well. Even after the way Micchi treated Kouta-san. Though maybe Zack thinks if Kouta-san could forgive Micchi for that, he definitely could. Micchi doesn't understand how people's minds work when it comes to forgiveness.

It isn't a problem for him; there's nobody who needs forgiveness from him. It was all what he did to others.

That doesn't matter now though. Micchi nods when Zack asks if he wants to talk about it, then realises he's on the phone and Zack can't see him.

"I can come meet you if it's something you'd rather talk about in person."

He just wants somebody to know what has happened, but the true allure of that offer is not having to be alone. After being pushed out of niisan's hospital room it'd be nice not to be alone.

"Okay," Micchi agrees. But he just has to say it, get it out there. "My niisan; he was unconscious, for a long time, after what happened. They said he'd never wake up. But he has."

[brawler_baron]

"Okay," Micchi says to Zack's offer to meet him, and Zack is halfway to being off the couch when Micchi speaks again. "My niisan," he says, and Zack's breath catches in his throat. "He was unconscious, for a long time, after what happened." Unconscious?! Even that much is news to Zack; he'd thought Takatora was dead! He'd seen the destroyed belt in Kouta's hands, had watched him weep over the death of his friend. "They said he'd never wake up. But he has."

"Oh my god," Zack says, stunned. "Oh my god, Micchi, that's amazing!" For Micchi's brother to be alive, and awake... if anything can lift Micchi out of the fog of hopelessness that's surrounded him all this time, it's that. "That's wonderful, I'm so happy for you." Zack's voice breaks a little as he chokes up just thinking how much this is going to mean for Micchi's recovery.

He grabs his Baron coat and slings it on one-handed as he gets to his feet. "I'm on my way to meet you right now, okay?" He holds his phone between his ear and shoulder as he adjusts his crutch. "Tell me where you want to meet up and I'll be there as fast as I can."

[callmemicchi]

Micchi, that's amazing!

"Yeah," Micchi replies, wonder evident in his voice. "Yeah."

There's nothing else he can say, and doesn't want to when Zack is doing all the talking. That's fine, that's much better. Micchi is too busy thinking about how not amazing it is. Niisan is awake, when he was never supposed to be ever again. That part is amazing. A miracle. But he woke up, and Micchi has to live with the knowledge that he thought he'd killed his brother. He'd even been triumphant about it at the time, though now he knows how mislead he'd been.

Niisan smiled at him. Which means he probably can't even remember what Micchi did. Oh, Micchi had been there for the questions - can you tell us your name? what year is it? do you recognise this person who has been sitting at your bedside? - but even when they'd asked if niisan had remembered how he'd ended up in hospital he'd been very vague about it. Niisan can't lie. But if he could he might do it for Micchi's sake...

Micchi needs to talk to niisan. But right now he can't, so maybe Zack can help. He wants to meet somewhere they won't come across anyone they know, won't be interrupted.

"The fountain," he says. "Meet me by the fountain." The area is too narrow for the Beat Riders to set up stages there, or even practice. It's just a place for people to wander or sit together. They won't be doing anything unusual.

[brawler_baron]

"The fountain," Micchi says, and Zack's mind races to think of the fastest route from his apartment. It's not far enough that he needs to catch a train; he should manage well enough on foot.

"The fountain," Zack repeats. "Okay. I'll be there, I'm on my way right now." He hurries to the door in an awkward half-shuffle, his desire to run straight to Micchi impeded by his stupid slow-healing leg. Maybe he can catch a taxi part of the way. "Micchi, do you want me to stay on the phone with you?" He locks his door behind him and starts toward the elevator. "I can keep talking if that's what you want, or I can go. Whatever you need."

[callmemicchi]

Micchi almost feels the corner of his mouth twitch in amusement. It's as though he's a bird, and Zack knows how likely it is he'll just fly away. Now that Micchi has finally hopped into his garden he will do anything he can to just get him to stay a while. He's probably worried that if he hangs up Micchi will just not turn up. "I need time to think," Micchi says haltingly. "My mind is a jumble at the moment. I just want some quiet for a while." He grips the phone tighter as he says, "I promise I'll be there." Now that he's made himself vulnerable to someone it would be worse to leave the wound open than attempt to patch it. Transport links from the hospital are good, he has plenty of options. He puts on his baseball cap and shrinks into himself as he takes a seat on a bus. There's a stop a brief walk from the fountain, so he can make an inconspicuous approach.

[brawler_baron]

Zack nods as Micchi answers him. "I need time to think. My mind is a jumble at the moment. I just want some quiet for a while."

"That's fine," Zack reassures him. "Like I said, whatever you need."

A moment passes, and then Micchi says, "I promise I'll be there." Like he knows how worried Zack is that after all this he's going to get spooked and decide not to show up after all.

"Okay," Zack replies. "I promise I'll be there, too. If I'm not there when you get there, just wait for me, okay?"

Once Zack's out of his building he starts the long walk to the fountain. Fortunately he's able to hail a passing cab to take him most of the way, though he still spends the ride drumming his fingers impatiently on his knee, thinking how it'd be faster if he only had two working legs so he could run to Micchi like he wants to.

[callmemicchi]

Micchi feels a little relieved when he sees the fountain and how few people are around in the vicinity; there are some boy-girl pairs together, one couple nestled close and sharing the view of a phone screen. The other two has the girl is sat on the fountain edge watching the boy do some sort of silly tricks, laughing. It's a quiet, intimate atmosphere. No need for anyone to interrupt anyone else. Micchi takes a seat somewhere roughly a third away from each couple, between them, and buries his hands between his knees. The air is chilly. He's still looking down at his own lap when he hears an approach. It's unlikely to be anyone but Zack, but Micchi is still wary regardless, looking up tentatively. Once he sees that it is Zack he stands up.

[brawler_baron]

Zack pays the driver and shuffles himself and his crutch out of the cab. It's not far to the fountain now, but given how slowly he has to move, he's pretty sure Micchi is going to get there first. He considers sending Micchi a text to let him know he's close, but decides it's not worth the hassle of wrestling with his phone while trying to stay balanced on his crutch.

It feels like entirely too long before the fountain comes into view. Zack forgets to breathe for a moment, until he sees a familiar figure huddled on the fountain's edge, hat pulled down to hide his face.

It's Micchi. He's really here, waiting for Zack.

Micchi looks up when he hears Zack coming, and then stands to meet him. He still looks so small and fragile, but Zack can see even at this distance that something has changed. Micchi's heart, shattered into tiny shards too sharp to touch, has somehow been repaired, not completely, but enough that it's begun to beat again, and the difference is impossible to miss. Zack is seeing a living, breathing boy where for months there's only been a ghost. The miracle that graced them today has brought both Kureshima brothers back from the dead.

"Micchi," Zack says, and when he sees the flicker of light that's returned, at long last, to Micchi's eyes, he can't help himself. He lets his crutch fall to the concrete beneath them with a clatter as he throws both his arms around Micchi's shoulders and pulls him close. "Micchi, I'm here."

[callmemicchi]

The breath goes out of him. Micchi hears the crutch clatter on the ground, but in a muted kind of way. What he feels is warmth, a strong embrace. Solid ground to stand on again. Zack is here, and they really had that phone conversation, and niisan is really awake, because Micchi told Zack, and Zack knows, and that's why he's here. Micchi blinks. It feels like it's only been seconds, but his body tells him they've been stood like this for minutes. He pulls back, fingers brushing at Zack's jacket, the most contact he can reach out for right at this moment. "You dropped your crutch," Micchi says dumbly, reaching down to retrieve it and hand it back to Zack again.

[brawler_baron]

Micchi doesn't hug him back, but he lets himself be held, and that's all Zack can really ask for right now. It's more than enough that Micchi is accepting Zack's affection, and not pushing him away. Zack wasn't sure he'd ever manage to get even this far.

For a while they just stay like that, neither of them speaking. Zack feels the rise and fall of Micchi's chest against his own as they breathe in and out together. And nothing else in the world seems to matter right now except for this one small fact, that he and Micchi are here, hearts still beating against all odds.

Eventually Micchi pulls back, his fingers brushing the lapels of Zack's coat. "You dropped your crutch," he says, and picks it up to return it.

"Thanks," Zack says with a sheepish smile as he tucks the crutch back under his arm. "That was careless of me." He gestures to the concrete ledge that surrounds the fountain. "You wanna sit down?"

[callmemicchi]

Micchi doesn't comment on Zack's discarding of the crutch; no point dwelling on why he did it. The hugging thing had been unexpected but nice, and Micchi doesn't want to criticise it or anything related to it. If he did it might never happen again, and though he isn't actively chasing more hugs, it's a comfort to know they're a possibility. "Can you sit alright?" Micchi asks absently as he turns to check where the ledge is behind him again. "I'm sorry for dragging you out like this." It seems polite to say, and he's been raised to be polite.

[brawler_baron]

Zack just grins when Micchi asks him if he's able to sit. "Don't worry about that, I've become something of a champ at sitting lately." He eases himself down onto the ledge, carefully positioning himself close to Micchi but not so close as to crowd him.

"I'm sorry for dragging you out like this," Micchi says.

Zack shakes his head. "You're not dragging me out," he says gently. He lays his hand atop Micchi's between them, lightly enough that Micchi will have no trouble pulling away if he wants to. "You don't have to apologize. I'm really glad you called me, Micchi. It's so good to see you." He knows that even though he's said it in absolute sincerity, Micchi might not be able to believe it. "So, your brother... can you tell me what happened?"

[callmemicchi]

Zack touches his again; his hand on top of Micchi's Micchi doesn't jump, doesn't startle when they've already had full on bodily contact in the form of a hug, but he does creep his hand gently out from beneath. It feels too odd to accept the comforting gesture. Micchi pulls his hands back into his lap again. His habits have changed dramatically over the weeks of sitting small and quiet at a hospital bedside. Your brother. Zack's voice breaks through his thoughts. "Can you tell me what happened?" "He's awake," Micchi says again. It feels like the only thing worth saying. But there's more. "He smiled at me. He doesn't remember anything. He can't or he would have been scared of me, or angry. Anything but happy."

[brawler_baron]

It's not really a surprise when Micchi slips his hand out from beneath Zack's. Zack can't expect him to be open to affection immediately after all the time he's spent withdrawn and alone. He leaves his hand on the ledge just in case Micchi changes his mind, though.

"He's awake," Micchi says in response to Zack's question. "He smiled at me." Micchi doesn't sound happy about that, though. "He doesn't remember anything. He can't or he would have been scared of me, or angry. Anything but happy."

Zack takes a moment to process Micchi's words. He doesn't want to argue with Micchi when he wasn't there to see what happened, but. "Do you know that for certain?" he asks gently. "Did you ask him if he remembers what happened?" He hesitates a moment. "I mean, I know how easy it is to assume the worst,, but I don't think you can jump to that conclusion without knowing what's going on in his mind, too."

[callmemicchi]

Micchi understands where Zack is coming from when he asks what he does. He doesn't know the full extent of what happened. Micchi can't be angry with him for his assuming the best, he only sighs. "They didn't give me a chance to talk to him properly," Micchi admits. "The doctors. Niisan waking up is a miracle. They wanted to give him all kinds of scans and tests. They wouldn't let me stay for that. "What could have made him happy to see me other than having forgotten everything I've done?"

[brawler_baron]

As Zack suspected, Micchi doesn't know for sure that Takatora has lost his memories, but he seems convinced all the same that it's the only possibility. "What could have made him happy to see me other than having forgotten everything I've done?"

Zack takes a slow breath in and considers his words before he answers. "I know it's not the same thing at all," he prefaces himself, "but you must've thought there was no way I'd ever be happy to see you, either." He looks over at Micchi, who's staring down at his hands in his lap, a blank expression on his face. "But I am. Even with everything that happened, I'm glad that you're still alive and here, Micchi."

Zack is probably talking too much, but he can't stop himself. "And we don't know if your niisan remembers what happened or not, but either way, I bet he's happy you made it through, and that you were there at his side when he woke up. You being there showed him you still care about him." Zack leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. "He did things that hurt you badly, too," he adds. "But you were still happy to see him when he woke up, right? I'll bet he's just as surprised that you could possibly feel that way about him."

[callmemicchi]

Micchi closes his eyes. Zack can say he's happy to see Micchi, fine. But he wasn't there to see everything Micchi did. And who was left to pass on the gossip? Nobody really.

You're just glad anyone survived, he thinks, biting his tongue so that he doesn't say it. Where once he would spit poison now it's easier to simply stay numb and say nothing. You lost enough friends that now you'll even put up with me just to have more remnants of the Beat Riders around.

"The things he did to me don't matter anymore," Micchi suffices to say instead. Latching onto that is easier than anything else Zack has said. "They mattered back then, before. When that was my entire life. They don't matter now." Micchi lets a small amount of breath out of his nose. "I'd probably be better off with niisan still making all the decisions for me. If anything has been proven by this whole situation, it's that."

[brawler_baron]

Zack's heart aches when he hears Micchi saying that the ways in which his brother hurt him don't matter anymore. As if the things he's done have been so awful that he deserves anything he gets now. Zack knows that feeling all too well.

Maybe it's time for him to let Micchi know that.

"Micchi..." Zack clenches his hands together to keep them from shaking. "I need you to know something. I'm not trying to make this about me, I just. I have to tell you." He braces himself to say out loud the horrible thing he'd done, the thing he hasn't had to say to any of the other Beat Riders because they all knew already. "After Kaito became an Overlord, I." Zack swallows hard around the lump that's forming in his throat. "I tried to kill him. My best friend, the guy who trusted me most in the world, and I tried to kill him." He shakes his head sadly. "I ended up killing Minato-san instead. I never meant to, but her blood's on my hands all the same." Zack's voice is quavering now, but he knows Micchi needs to hear the rest. "And after that, Kaito fought me, but... he let me live. Even though I betrayed him, even though I killed Minato-san, Kaito let me live. And I'm never gonna know why he didn't just kill me."

Zack looks over at Micchi with a heavy heart. "You're not alone, Micchi," he says softly. "You're not the only one who's carrying this pain. That's what I've wanted to tell you all this time. I don't have an answer for it, and maybe there isn't one. But I know how much it hurts. You're not alone."

[callmemicchi]

Micchi hadn't really stopped to think about what else had been happening when he'd divorced himself from the Beat Riders in order to control them. Team Baron, any of them. Kaito had tried to get in his way, called him a coward. He'd been right. He'd always been able to see right through Micchi's sweet and smiling act to his core. As much as they'd disliked one another maybe he can see the value now in having a friend who calls you out on your shit rather than accepts it all. Zack had that, but then he'd had to deal with Kaito becoming an Overlord... He would've just let Helheim take over and see who was strong enough to survive. He hadn't even had a group of people he wanted to save specifically, like Micchi had. Maybe Kaito didn't kill Zack because he'd proven himself just by challenging Kaito. Micchi doesn't think saying it will reassure Zack, though. Not when Minato-san is dead. Micchi hesitantly lifts his hand, slipping it over to Zack's where his are clutched together, and places it on top gently, squeezing just a little.

[brawler_baron]

Zack is so afraid, in those first silent moments after he finishes talking, that even this won't be enough to break through the wall Micchi has built around himself. But then Micchi lifts his hand to reach over and lay it on top of Zack's, and there's a soft warmth where their skin is touching. Zack isn't alone either.

Zack raises one thumb to brush it lightly against Micchi's hand, to return the gesture as best he can right now. "I know you must be so scared right now," he says. "About what's gonna happen the next time you see your brother. And I sure can't make any promises about how it'll turn out, but... I want to go with you. I'll give you guys privacy if you'd rather talk without me there, but I want to go to the hospital with you, so whatever happens, you'll know you're still not alone. Will you let me do that for you, Micchi?"

[callmemicchi]

"Mmmm," Micchi agrees quietly when Zack mentions knowing he's scared, and that he can't promise it'll turn out well. Micchi knows that; he won't blame Zack if everything falls to pieces. But he's saying... That if it does, he'll be by Micchi's side. Micchi flicks his eyes up to look Zack in the face. "Why?" He asks. "You want to help me... So I won't feel as bad as you've been feeling?" It's too late for that, but of course Zack means from now on. "Who has been there to help you?" Micchi is already trying to figure it out before he asks; he's pretty sure Zack is the one looking after all the remaining Beat Riders, not the other way around.

[brawler_baron]

"Why?" Micchi's tone is earnestly curious, almost surprised. "You want to help me... So I won't feel as bad as you've been feeling?"

Zack smiles a little. "Well, I wouldn't have put it quite that way, but when you get down to it, yeah. Because I know how much it hurts, and I can't leave you to try to carry this pain on your own."

"Who has been there to help you?" Micchi asks him, and Zack's smile fades.

"There hasn't been anyone else who can understand it the way you can," he admits quietly. "Everyone knows more or less the whole story by now, but it's hard to talk about it. It helped a little to talk to Oren-san, 'cause he was a soldier, but even that's not the same." Zack slips one hand out to lay it atop Micchi's. "I want to help you because there hasn't been anyone who could do it for me. I can't just sit by and do nothing, knowing you're hurting the same way I am."

[callmemicchi]

"There hasn't been anyone else who can understand it the way you can," Zack says. Micchi had known that Zack understood his situation, once he'd spoken about Kaito. But he hadn't really thought about the reciprocation. If Zack offers to be Micchi's support, Micchi can... Yeah, maybe he could. Maybe that's possible. Maybe he needs to focus on something that isn't him. And he has been! He's been taking the best care of niisan that he can! But now niisan is awake and maybe... Maybe Micchi can spare a little of that care to someone else too. It's a big jump to go from a brother to a... Sort of friend. Even if your brother is someone you tried to kill. "Come with me," Micchi agrees. "I can't let you be alone either, if you're feeling the way I am. You shouldn't feel that way."

[brawler_baron]

"Come with me," Micchi says, and Zack feels a weight lifted from his heart. "I can't let you be alone either, if you're feeling the way I am. You shouldn't feel that way."

Zack curls his fingers over Micchi's a little more, holding Micchi's hand between his own. "Thanks, Micchi," he says. "I don't want you to feel this way, either." He looks over at Micchi and gives him half a smile. "I don't know where things will go from here, but if we've got each other, I think we might be alright after all."

Zack pauses appreciate the closeness they're sharing for just another moment before asking the practical questions. "So, what time do visiting hours start tomorrow? Do you wanna go see your brother right away? I'm good to go whenever you want."